For Your Friday Viewing Discomfort…High School Hurdles Done Bad

November 12, 2010 Leave a comment

I feel bad for this girl, I really do.  So, why am I posting this clip then? 

Good question.

–Cap’n Blackjack

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Thanksgiving continues to…evolve?

November 11, 2010 1 comment

Thanksgiving isn’t that far away, so let the T-posts begin!

What we have here is a cake with the layers made of turkey and stuffing, frosted with mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and topped with mini marshmallows.

Strange, but definitely interesting.

-TomTurkeyjuiceboy

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PA Man Lights Joint in Hospital After Child’s Birth, Gives Cap’n Blackjack Inspiration

November 11, 2010 2 comments

I’ve got a baby coming.  Any day now, actually.  A little girl.  Awww…  But I never knew what I was going to do with myself during the long stay at the hospital.  Lavish attention upon my daughter?  That’s crazy talk!  Instead I’m gonna follow in the weed-filled footsteps of this guy: 

Uniontown police Sgt. Jonathan Grabiak told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that a nurse smelled the marijuana when she took a cigarette break in the same area, and a hospital security guard called police about 3:20 a.m.

Grabiak says the man told him, “I’m having a baby and wanted to get a buzz” and then pulled a bag of marijuana from his shoe.

The man was released to a family member and made to leave the hospital.

Awkward!

I have to say I’m shocked I didn’t think of this.  After all, it makes sense.  Movies?  Better on weed.  Video games?  Also better on weed.  Trips to the grocery store?  Shit-tons better on weed!  As is trimming your toenails, cleaning the cat box, vacuuming the rugs, doing the dishes, spending time with the in-laws, gardening, attending sheep-shearing festivals, and writing blog posts.  Basically…everything.

Why should baby birthing be any different?  Why should my wife have all the fun?

So I thank you, nameless Pennsylvanian pothead.  Thank you for reminding me that even the birth of my first child will be improved significantly while riding the ganja train.

All aboard!

–Cap’n DimeSack

Related Article:  Pa. man lights joint to celebrate child’s birth

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Crashed your car? Blame the Easter Bunny.

November 10, 2010 Leave a comment

Go ahead, try it. I..hare you.

It won’t help, but it’ll be funny!

Because that’s what this guy did!

Police officers responding to a reported car crash early Tuesday morning heard an unlikely story from the alleged drunk driver behind the wheel.

John Fowler…claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of the Easter Bunny, and Fowler said he attempted to follow him.

When he lost the Easter Bunny informant, he tried to return home but crashed his car, Fowler reportedly told police.

Oh!! So close!

If only he didn’t lose that informant! Then he would have been hailed a hero for finally capturing the Easter Bunny!

And I wouldn’t be doing this post justice if I didn’t include a picture of what I imagine the Easter Bunny looked like that Mr. Fowler was chasing, would I?

Read more…

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Phil Collins fights depression, drumsticks and bidets

November 10, 2010 1 comment

I can feel it coming in the air tonight

A Rolling Stone interview with Phil Collins comes out this Friday. In it, he talks about a variety of subjects, including neck pain:

Read more…

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Betty White: Forest Ranger.

November 9, 2010 Leave a comment
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Mystery Missile Rockets its Way into Our Hearts

November 9, 2010 Leave a comment

America’s all abuzz about the Mystery Missile; the one launched off the Los Angeles coast yesterday to the surprise of everyone.  A news team snapped a picture of the missile making it clear this isn’t just an Estes rocket launched by a loving astronomy-minded father and son.  It’s the real deal.  A big boy.  And the American Government apparently has no idea who launched it and why.  Which is, you know…

Comforting.

As a result we’re not left with a lot of options.  The UFO freaks are out, of course, saying it’s something to do with space aliens.  So are the conspiracy theorists, because whenever the government says it knows nothing it’s obviously a lie.  And then there’s Canada.  I think it’s about time we stopped trusting our “friends” from the North.  Any sign of a maple leaf on that missile?

Of course there might be a more down to earth answer.  One involving a certain Limejuiceboy and a nickname in college??? 

I am ze Mystery Missile!

You be the judge!

–Cap’n Blackjack

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