The Island is a year old!
Loyal, sexy readers of the Island, we have made it!
That’s right, tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of our soon-to-be-famous blog, the same blog that you can’t wait to read first thing in the morning! The same blog you can’t stop talking about at lunch! The same blog you check when falling asleep!
With our insightful commentary and unique sense of humor not seen anywhere else, we have spent the past 365 days bringing you our own take on all sorts of topics, carefully plucking stories from the vastness of the intertubes.
And with 267 post so far, Cap’n Blackjack and I have decided to take a look back and choose the Top 5 Posts that are not our own. Which is good, because I wouldn’t be able to decide on my own posts–they’re all just that good!
I went into picking my favorite posts from Cap’n Butterball without any criteria. I just wanted to see what stood out to me. Of course there were a lot. But I took my time and after a long, exhaustive search lasting a full 3….minutes…I found my favorites by Cap’n Hacksaw.
Interestingly, a theme developed: cinema. Cap’n Blueballs has an entertaining writing style–he seems to always teeter on the edge of blowing a gasket yet manages to keep his focus and lay into his subject with poignant arguments. It’s entertaining, it’s funny…and sometimes I worry about him.
So let’s take a look back at Cap’n Wacko’s Top 5 Posts (chosen in no particular order by the stylish, sensitive and suave Limejuiceboy):
Less than a month in and Cap’n BJ was posting at a high level. For all of you that don’t know, the Island started out by taking shots at those people in society we felt needed to be removed. It was harsh. And frankly, looking back at some of those early entries makes me cringe sometimes. But this post was the first that made a great case for banishing someone, in this instance Hilary Swank, to a far away Island without lashing out with abject hatred. Observe:
It’s my feeling that no one can have fun around Hilary Swank. She walks into a room, it gets cold. She shows up at your party, the booze gets put away. She comes on stage, it’s time to get sad and talk about dead people. You get the idea.
We can all relate to that sentiment, right? Maybe you have your own person other than the Swank that makes you feel this way. Cap’n Redenbacher put together a concise argument for his distaste of the seriousness that is Hilary Swank. Well done, sir.
It was dumb. It was embarrassing. I hated it. This wasn’t the Indiana Jones I grew up with and I just couldn’t come to terms with it.
Cap’n Sillystring has a way with movie reviews. He can break down a movie and come up with the real issues with the plot points. And that’s exactly what he did with Indy #4. I was an Indy Jones fan…was. I started to turn against it after my 231st viewing of Indy #3: the scene on the tank where his satchel is stuck on the tank turret but then the very next scene it isn’t? Lazy, lazy filming. Since then, I have never been able to forgive Mr. Spielberg.
And from this post, it appears that Cap’n Hornytoad can’t forgive either. What I like about this post is the 5 points he relates to us. I didn’t think about the fact that Indy having the artifact and not caring about it was a problem, or Mac and his poorly written character, or that the bad guys don’t kill anybody. Cap’n Lemongrass was able to break all this down and it makes sense! Thank you, sir. Let’s just hope Indy #5 corrects all the wrongs. I doubt it. I bet Cap’n Chumbucket doubts it as well.
If not for Righteous Kill, this movie would probably be the very worst I have ever seen.
Once again, a funny take on a decidedly unfunny movie. This post made me laugh out loud not only for the fact that Cap’n Liverwurst was being subjected to this pile of garbage against his protests, but his breakdown of why the movie was so horrible. But you know what? Cap’n Steamy recently made me watch part of this movie! Everything about this movie is horrible. His post is dead on.
I love this post for its simplicity. A great example of Cap’n Rikki-Tikki-Tavi telling us to honor the Earth with his sense of doom-and-gloom by saying “Pretend like you give a shit people.”
I had to include this particular video from Cap’n Gump because it is one of his favorites: the wheelchair scene from Mac and Me. It gets him every time and I have to admit, it is hilarious in an absurd sort of way. All around goodness.
Sticking with the movie theme, because that is Cap’n Aardvark’s bread and butter. He is really good at disassembling a movie, even with ones that haven’t yet been released. I love this part:
Apparently there are those out there who would welcome a man whose welcome has long been worn out. Apparently some of you out there want to see a French baguette placed amusingly in front of Pepe’s groin region.
Because that’s what you’re gonna get.
Because Mike Myers sucks.
I didn’t intend to have Mike Myers show up twice in my tribute to Cap’n Stinkbomb’s posts. But here we are. It just goes to show that Cap’n Blackjack (awww, I used his real name, how nice), has a way with holding up a movie and examining it from different angles. Especially if it’s a piece of turd. Just make sure to wash your hands after.
So keep up the good work, Cap’n!
And don’t ever show me The Love Guru again.