Home > Uncategorized > The Will Smith Laboratory’s Newest Creation: Willow…UNLEASHED!!!

The Will Smith Laboratory’s Newest Creation: Willow…UNLEASHED!!!

Now there are two of them!

The two I’m referring to, of course, are Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s genetically-engineered-in-a-state-of-the-art-laboratory children:  Jaden and now, Willow. 

Yes, Willow:  the newest Smith to toss privacy and the semblance of a normal life to the gutter.  She’s nine.  She’s got a music video.  And she’s whippin’ her hair!  Check it out:

Personally I’d be pissed if some nine year old daughter of two movie stars marched into a room and started whipping paint at me.  Wouldn’t you?  The kids in the video seem to like it though…  Maybe I’m out of touch.  Nevertheless, I’m not going to make any snap judgments on the video itself.  Instead, after seeing this, I wonder…

Do the Smith kids actually WANT to be actors/musicians/whatever or are they being genetically created in the Will Smith Child Star Laboratory for that purpose alone?  Some thoughts after the jumpedy-jump.

The former Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has been quoted as saying the following about his dedication to his children and their careers: 

“I look at my father and how he was able to keep four kids fed and clothed and still managed to find time to spend with us.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t seem like a satisfactory explanation to me.  Fed and clothed?  I’m pretty sure they’re taken care of on that front.  The dozens of nannies that I’m sure they have at their disposal can probably handle the feeding and the clothing.  The part about finding time to spend with them, however, leads us closer to the real answer, I think.

It seems obvious that Will wants to spend time with his kids.  And that’s great.  He should spend time with his kids.  But, it also seems obvious that Will wants to remain a giant movie star.  He’s been in the spotlight his entire life and that doesn’t seem likely to change, especially with the unnecessary Men in Black 3 on the way.  This leads me to the following conclusion:

Will wants to remain a movie star.  He also wants to spend time with his kids.  How does he remedy this?  By combining the two.  By making his children into stars as well.

He’s well on his way too.  Jaden’s been stinking up the screen as Will’s son in The Pursuit of Happyness, a maddening brat in the abominable Day the Earth Stood Still, and a fish out of water in the slap-in-the-face remake of the Karate Kid.  Willow, prior to being an apparent pop star in the making with her hair-whipping talents, starred in I am Legend with Will as, you guessed it, his daughter.

This brings me back to my original question:  do the kids actually want to be stars or are they being pushed in that direction by their famous father?  Well, I think the answer is a little of both.  What kids wouldn’t want to be stars?  Especially when their parents are already?  Of course they want to be rich and famous.  But, it seems obvious that Will is employing a strong hand in their childhood and development, trying to keep them close while maintaining a career.  There’s a question of ethics here, to be sure, but I can’t tell the Smiths how to raise their kids.

But I can tell them to stop farming them out.  Karate Kid?  The Day the Earth Stood Still?  I Am Legend?  Hair whipping?  If these are any indication of their talents, then…

Count me out.

–Agent BJ

Categories: Uncategorized
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