Archive for October, 2010

For Your Friday Viewing Horror…Dawn of the Dead, Dead Alive, and the Scariest Teenager You've Ever Seen

October 29, 2010 1 comment

Man, I forgot about those zombie tots.  Un-holy!!!

Peter Jackson, you’ve come a long way.

Watch out ladies, we got a killer on the loose!

–Cap’n Hack Jack

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Here's How You Win a Pumpkin Carving Contest

October 29, 2010 Leave a comment

Babies.  In.  Pumpkins.

That’s all it takes.  Get breeding everybody!

–Cap’n Jack O’ Lantern

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Hello, Blake Lively.

October 27, 2010 Leave a comment

Nous attendons avec belle ensemble, non?



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Like the World Series but Hate Joe Buck and Tim McCarver? Well, Today’s Your Lucky Day!

October 27, 2010 Leave a comment

It’s a scientifically-proven fact that there is a direct inverse relationship between the importance of baseball games and the quality of televised commentating.  If you don’t believe me (and science, I might add—what are you a tea partier?) please see Exhibit A:

Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.  The worst announcers this side of Joe Morgan.

But all is not lost my baseball loving friends!  Because you, dear reader, can avoid such gems as “A walk is just as important as a home run here” (no, it’s not) and “One of the first things they teach a pitcher is to pitch to the catcher” (no shit, shithead) during the fight to the finish between San Fran and Texas this week.  Find out how after the jump.

Read more…

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This guy is going to stuff 12 cockroaches in his mouth tomorrow. Good luck with that!

October 23, 2010 Leave a comment

And I put it in my mouth....

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For Your Friday Viewing Pleasure….

October 22, 2010 Leave a comment


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Buy This for Blackjack: 2001 Monolith Action Figure

October 20, 2010 Leave a comment

Those weirdos at ThinkGeek are at it again, now with quite possibly the coolest action figure I’ve ever seen.  One with zero points of articulation!  And the proper 1:4:9 ratio (duh!).  Supposedly the manufacturer in China was so perplexed by the design that they rejected it, thinking it must be a mistake.  But this is no mistake.  It’s awesome.

And I wants it.

So, if anyone wants to spend $13 on good ol’ Cap’n Blackjack, here’s your chance!  Just click on over and give ’em your digits.

Or just give me your credit card information.  That works too.

–Cap’n Jack 9000

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