Home > Uncategorized > Fat Kids Are Threatening Our National Security!!!

Fat Kids Are Threatening Our National Security!!!

Mission Readiness, a group of retired high-ranking military officers, today released a report saying that 27 percent of young Americans are physically unfit to serve in the armed forces.

How dare you

And it’s not just that. Seems like American kids are doomed to watch our future wars from the comfort of their barcaloungers and sectionals for other reasons too. From CNN:

Mission: Readiness’ report, “Too Fat to Fight,” said that 75 percent of young Americans between the ages of 17 to 24 do not qualify for the military because of failure to graduate [from high school], criminal records or physical problems.

Nice. A whole generation of fat dumb criminals. Future invading armies might as well perform twinkie drops instead of leaflets.

Because the future of the U.S. Marines won’t look like this:

It’ll look like this:

–Cap’n Fatjack

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