Home > Uncategorized > Big Ben, Small Penis

Big Ben, Small Penis

Okay, I really don’t know if Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s penis is small, but that got your attention right?

Good.

So, yeah, the big galloot’s been in the news lately.  And not for the first time.  Seems he likes to go out drinking in college towns with his gang of bodyguards and pork (rape) young girls in the bathroom.

Beef, not pork

Mmm…peppered beef jerky…

Wait, where was I?  OH yeah, the penis.  Anyway, Ol’ Benny can’t seem to keep it in his pants.  And because he’s big and dumb, he takes that quite literally.  See for yourself:

From Deadspin:

The encounter lasted about ten minutes, beginning from when Roethlisberger entered the back area “with his penis already out of his pants.” The alleged victim repeatedly told him she didn’t want to have sex, but he kept reassuring her, as they had unprotected sex. She told her friends immediately after, and they reported it to the first police officer they saw.

Classy, Ben.  Real classy.  Here’s another gem:

The alleged victim was wearing a nametag labeled “DTF” When asked, she said it stood for “down to fuck.” Roethlisberger replied, “I’m not down to fuck, but I like to fuck girls.”

Hoo, watch out Casanova!

So remember folks, when you want to bang a skanky chick in a nasty college tavern bathroom, make sure she has a Down To Fuck button and your penis is out of your pants.

And make sure you’re a famous NFL quarterback.

"DTF?"

–Cap’n Blackjack

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