Home > Uncategorized > The AFC Championship: NFL’s Version of a Turd Sandwich vs. a Giant Douche. We Decide!

The AFC Championship: NFL’s Version of a Turd Sandwich vs. a Giant Douche. We Decide!

Colts vs. Jets.  Jets vs. Colts.  Let’s face it.  They both suck.  But this weekend, those of us that follow the NFL must make a near-impossible choice:  The Chicken-Clucking Pitchman or the Hog Fat Loudmouth?

My vote:  Chicken-Clucking Pitchman.

Brrrrr-CAW!

Now, this isn’t so much a vote for the Colts.  I hate the Colts.  Oh wait, let me clarify.  I mean, I HATE the stupid effing Colts.  I hate their players, I hate their gay-hating coaches, I hate their piped-in crowd noise, I hate their pansy-ass turf-laden stadiums, I hate their stupid fans, and I hate that damn Peyton Manning.

But I hate the Jets more.

Maybe that comes from my across-the-board hatred for all New York sports teams.  I love New York, as the saying goes, but I hate their stupid teams.  The Yankees especially, but that should go without saying.  I hate those effing lucky-ass Giants too (you can go straight to hell, Tyree, and you’re an overrated pug, Eli).

The Jets?  Well, they’ve been fun to beat up on all these years, but c’mon.  Cinderella story?  Sanchez and his magical poise?  (How many interceptions does poise get you these days anyway?)  Hog fat Rex Ryan jiggling and blubbering?  This team is a joke and this ride must come to an end.  Yes, their defense is fantastic and Revis scares the hell out of me, but this is one soap opera that needs to go on hiatus.

You don’t deserve to be here, New York.

Go home and get back to what you do best.  Lose.

–Cap’n Blackjack

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Mrs. Blackjack
    January 22, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Hey! That is an insult to pugs!

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