Home > Uncategorized > Limejuiceboy’s Top 5 worst movies of the Aughts.

Limejuiceboy’s Top 5 worst movies of the Aughts.

yeah, so do you..

So…many…movies.

Yet during my research I realized there were a lot of movies this decade that I didn’t see. And with good reason. So to be fair to the movies that will be BANISHED! I decided that I could only BANISH! the worst movies of the Aughts that I have seen, whether it be all the way through or to a point where I had to shut it off 15 minutes in. Of course there are what could be considered obvious selections that I ignored, mainly because I have mentioned them in older posts (like Cat In The Hat), or I plan on BANISHING! Them on their own (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, your days are numbered).

So, without further delay, and in no particular order, here are the top 5 BANISHED! movies of this decade:

Glitter (2001)

la la la la la la...

And I have seen this movie more than once! I’ll spare you the details or even a high-level synopsis of Glitter but if you do end up with this wet trash in the DVD player, the best part of the movie is when the main menu comes up. That’s because Mariah’s face explodes into glitter! It’s the best wipe I’ve seen. Everything after that is horrendous. I’ve seen better film on teeth.

Big Momma’s House 1 and 2 (2000 and 2006)

OMG, they are making a 3rd!

This was an in-flight movie. Worst. Plane ride. Ever.

Envy (2004)

All I could find was a picture of the movie poster. It wasn’t worth the effort to upload it. I shut this movie off within 10 minutes.

The Family Stone (2005)

See SJP in the middle? keep reading...

Actually there is one part, lasting 2 seconds, that wasn’t all that bad. The rest was a fracking nightmare when one S.J.P. was on screen. And that was all the time. The 2 second part was when the father slammed his fist on the dinner table and made S.J.P shut the f. up. That was the only time I showed a happy emotion during this devastation. But then I realized something with this terrible movie: Sarah J. Parker was not acting. That is how she is in real life! Scary. And scary bad.

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

I feel sick

This movie made my skin crawl, my stomach felt like it was ripped out and all I wanted to do was rip my eyes out of my sockets so I could access my brain and tear out the part that made me remember what I just saw.

So, here’s to the Aught’s! I can only hope the Teens can give me another opportunity to subject myself to the same level of slug vom as these did.

-LJB

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Mrs. Blackjack
    December 29, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Oh man, don’t get me started about how much I hate RFAD… I agree, that is undoubtedly the most disturbing movie I’ve ever seen and the worst of the decade!

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