Home > Uncategorized > The Golden Girls’ Top Five Movies of the Decade

The Golden Girls’ Top Five Movies of the Decade

‘Tis the season for Best/Worst lists of 2009 and the decade as a whole.  And while the decade doesn’t technically end for another year (you start counting at one, not zero), Celebrity Exile isn’t about to be left behind.  And neither are Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia who would like to thank the following films for being their friends this decade.

5.  Casino Royale

After the increasingly-cartoony offerings from Pierce Brosnan and friends (don’t get me going on Die Another Day’s Madonna-rific, face-swapping story…blech!), James Bond was in serious need of a makeover.  The formula had gotten stale.  On top of things, Jason Bourne had burst onto the scene, out-Bonding the famous MI-6 agent himself.

So what did they do?  They brought in Martin Campbell who headed the last “reboot” of Goldeneye, they wrote a smart script completely removed from the previously-established formula, and they brought in a Bond no one expected: blonde-haired Daniel Craig.

And they hit the jackpot.  While blasphemy to some, I consider this to be the very best Bond movie, quality-wise.  It has all the qualities you want in a Bond movie (action, stunts, unique characters, twists and turns) with none of the cheesiness you don’t.  Not only that, but it injected a sense of style not seen in a Bond movie since the 60s.  This potent mix has me coming back again and again.

And while Royale’s sequel Quantum of Solace was a disappointment, this new series has great potential for future greatness.  If you jumped ship after Dalton and Brosnan, it’s time to hook back up with Mr. Bond.  You won’t regret it.

4.  Children of Men

While there were a few shining examples of science fiction this decade (this year’s Avatar or District 9 come to mind), this still stands as my favorite.  And there’s very little stereotypical “science fiction” in it.  There are no spaceships, no aliens, no lasers.  No, instead there’s a not-too-distant Earth where people have become infertile mysteriously.  Children no longer exist.  Schools are closed down.  The future of humanity is in serious doubt.

It’s a depressing premise.  And a fairly depressing movie to boot, if not for the message of hope at its core.

Hope comes in the form of a pregnant girl, the first seen in decades.  Her arrival, however, sets many different chess pieces into motion, many of which threaten her safety.  Enter Clive Owen’s downtrodden character who must protect her at all costs.

While this unique premise might be enough for most films, what truly sets this movie apart is the direction, which is exemplary.  Imagine complicated action scenes, with dozens of extras, and unbelievable amounts of choreography, occurring without cutting away.  While the director, Alphonso Cauron, later admitted some trickery was at play, these scenes, which last minutes at a time, trap you in places you just can’t escape.  And it’s thrilling.  By the end I feel like I’ve been through the same ringer the characters have.  Do yourself a favor and try it out for yourself.

3.  The Incredibles

I love, love, love this movie.  And while Wall-E and Up threatened to knock it off its perch as the very best Pixar and/or animated movie I’ve seen, it continues to hold up, time and time again.

The Incredibles throws superhero movies on its head, creating a world where superheroes live in hiding from the population who sued them out of the spotlight.  We follow Mr. Incredible, a Superman of sorts, who has been working in insurance for far too long.  He longs for a return to the superhero life, and gets himself mixed up in an evil plot to destroy all superheroes, drawing his super-powered family into the fray in the process.

It’s a smart movie.  It’s an exciting movie.  And most of all, it’s a fun movie.  It’s everything you want in big-budget, popcorn entertainment.  And, like Casino Royale, a certain streamlined 60’s style dresses every shot.  It’s just beautiful and it’s a world I find myself wanting to visit time and time again.

2.  No Country for Old Men

This is the Coen Brothers’ best movie.  Fargo, Lebowski, Raising Arizona, and more are all great, but this movie takes them to a whole ‘nother level.  Never have I seen a truly flawless Coen movie, until now.

When a man (Josh Brolin) stumbles across $2 Million in drug money, he sets off a cat and mouse chase between himself, a terrifying hitman (Javier Bardem in the role of a lifetime), and the police (Tommy Lee Jones) who spend most of the time picking up the bloody pieces.  And bloody this movie is, without doubt.  If you are in any way squeamish, this might not be the movie for you. 

But to label this movie in such a manner is to detract from it, for this film is not exactly as it seems.  While the title hints at the true story being told here, it’s the third act that really makes this apparent.  I won’t spoil anything here, but it’s this movie’s ending that will polarize many who view it.  You’ll either get it and love it or you will feel betrayed by the lack of payoff to the set up in the first two acts.  As you may have guessed, I loved it.

But even if you don’t, you certainly won’t forget this movie any time soon.  Give it a shot, especially if you love the Coens.

1.  There Will Be Blood

Wow, where to begin?  This movie knocked me flat on my ass.  Who would have thought a movie about oil prospecting at the turn of the century would have had such an effect on me? 

Perhaps Daniel Day Lewis who cements his status as the greatest living actor on the planet with this movie.  He is absolutely mesmerizing as the dour and greedy Daniel Plainview.  Which is good because we get to know Daniel very well, for better or for worse (mostly for worse). 

Paul Thomas Anderson also really outdid himself with the writing and direction here.  While I love Boogie Nights, I’ve never been able to get behind P.T. Anderson, until now.  This is truly magnificent work.

As is the music, by Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead, which is eerie, engaging, and unforgettable.  The fact that the music didn’t even get nominated for an Oscar (on a technicality) is a complete travesty.

To spoil the story would be a great disservice, so it won’t happen here.  Just be ready to drop “I drink your milkshake!” from the film’s Kubrickian finale into every possible conversation afterwards.

This is an American masterpiece.  Do not miss it.

–Cap’n Blackjack

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. limejuiceboy7
    December 28, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    What, no Glitter?

  2. the flying jib
    December 30, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    “Perhaps Daniel Day Lewis who cements his status as the greatest living actor on the planet with this movie.”

    Thank you for saying this and thank you for choosing There Will be Blood as the top movie of the almost decade. It was hands down the best movie in 10 years and Dan Day Lewis gave one of the best peformances ever. I had nightmares about Daniel Plaineview for weeks.

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