Home > Uncategorized > Yo-Yo Island: Samuel L. Jackson

Yo-Yo Island: Samuel L. Jackson

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?”

Happy Belated Birthday, Samuel. Now go to the Island and think about what you’ve done.

You used to be The Man, or more appropriately, THE Bad MotherFucker. Even though I believe Pulp Fiction hasn’t aged as well as I would have wanted it to, during the mid 90’s, no one could touch you. But then you go make Die Hard 3 and The Long Kiss Goodnight.

I don't remember asking you a Goddamn thing!

Look, this is my problem with you: unless it is an absolute perfect role for you, you sound like you are reading your lines. Hello, Deep Blue Sea. Even in Jurassic Park you didn’t sell your role.

what is it with you and vicious animals?

Act, damn it! Even in AOTC your line sounded so hollow…although Lucas might have had a lot to do with that. But still!

“This party’s over.” Ugh. Although I have to admit, it was cool when you swung your light saber behind you and re-directed that laser blast back into that droid.

See, that’s what I mean. You’re cool and then you aren’t. Stop Yo-yoing!

I know we share a birthday, Sam L., so I want to like you. I really do. But when you are on a plane with a lot of reptiles, it doesn’t work. Memorize your lines, Mr. Jackson. And say it with feeling! Please!

Until then, you are banished to Yo-Yo Island! See you around.


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