Home > Uncategorized > Exile Island: The Trifecta of Stupid, Uncreative Nicknames

Exile Island: The Trifecta of Stupid, Uncreative Nicknames

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When I’m with my friends or family, there are numerous modifications used on my name in traditional conversation. I’m easy-going and every so often a variation, more often than not acceptable, of my given name or surname appears: a play on words, a shortened version of one or both, an abbreviation or even a new change to various “terms of endearments” as it were. Even when I met people for the first time, I am usually asked which deviation of my name I prefer which leads me to say that I don’t care and then I rattle off a handful of mutations that are acceptable to me. And if someone comes up with a new one, for the most part, the more the better!

But there are some names that, although I now rarely hear them, every once in a while drip out of someone’s mouth as if they just ate a bucket full of olestra (there’s the reference!) For those of you that still use these phrases, or for those of you that have heard someone else use these phrases, then banished ye shall be!

And now, I present to you, the Trifecta of Stupid and Uncreative Nicknames that call for immediate banishment: Guy, Kid and Chief.

1) Guy. Don’t call me guy. Only guy’s named Guy should be called guy, and those guy’s should be banished (Fieri, I’m coming for you, guy!)

Looking good, Guy Fawkes.

2) Kid. Young goats are kids. And anyone under 11. That’s it!

Banished, MF'er!

3) Chief. Only 3 people in this world should be called chief and one was fictional:

Hmmm, juicy fruit

The other is any native person that actually deserves it (and that’s most):

real sorry about all that..

And the other, well, sorry Robert, but it did stick:


So don’t call me chief. I’m not in a mental hospital (quiet, you!), I don’t have a tribe and I haven’t won an NBA championship (yet).

Furthermore, just because I’m tall, don’t ask me how the weather is up here.

You got that, shrimp?!


Categories: Uncategorized
  1. capnblackjack
    December 17, 2009 at 11:08 am

    No mention of Buddy or Friend?

  2. limejuiceboy7
    December 17, 2009 at 11:51 am

    No sorry dude

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