Home > Uncategorized > When It Comes to Monkeys: Real is the Deal

When It Comes to Monkeys: Real is the Deal

The limejuiceboy and I are big fans of monkeys.  Chimps, gorillas, those little poo-throwing ones…  We love them all.  So that’s why it makes me so mad when monkeys are not as advertised.

What do I mean by that?  Well, let me recount the story of Ed.

Yes, I’m talking about the movie with Matt LeBlanc.  The limejuiceboy and I rented said movie many moons ago.  And before you scoff at our movie-picking judgment, just for a moment think about how awesome a movie about a baseball-playing monkey could be.  Baseball movies are fun right?  Monkeys are fun too, right?  Well, mix them together and you get chocolate and peanut butter.  Right?

Well, at least that’s what we thought.

You see, there was one major flaw with the movie (amongst many) that was NOT advertised:  The monkey wasn’t real.  Not real!  And not only that.  It was an animatronic monkey.  Uggggghhhh…

Oh, I can still remember the moment this dawned on the limejuiceboy and I.  The monkey was introduced.  Excitement was at an all-time high. Then…BANG.  It was like all the love and soul in the world was suddenly dashed to atoms (much like the viewing of Righteous Kill).

This monkey movie had no monkey.  Sigh.

Would Clint Eastwood have stood for this?  Sure, the technology probably wasn’t there for robot monkeys back then, but I still don’t think it would have happened regardless.  Real monkeys, people.  Real monkeys!  That’s the way Clint did it.  That’s the way you should do it today.

Now that's a monkey

But lessons have not been learned.  A perfect example is the travesty of the CG monkeys in that new hideous Indiana Jones movie (future write-up on that turd forthcoming).  Um, George?  Steven?  I know getting monkeys to do what you want on camera is difficult, but you did it before in Raiders.  And, also, if your script calls for Shia Labeouf to swing through the vines with dozens of monkeys, maybe that’s a warning sign.  Just sayin’.

So, to all of you who want to put fake apes in my monkey movies, STOP.  Cease and desist, please!  Or The Island you shall go.

–Cap’n Blackjack

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. limejuiceboy7
    December 17, 2009 at 8:56 am

    Tarzan never would have let this happen, either.

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