Home > Uncategorized > Black Friday Shoppers: M&M Jackets and Skeezy Rat-Tails

Black Friday Shoppers: M&M Jackets and Skeezy Rat-Tails

courtesy mlive

Every year, scenes like the one above play out on our television screens and we wonder…


What compels people to don their favorite M&M jackets, wait in line at 2 in the morning, and trample others, all to get ten dollars off a Hannah Montana singing-star microphone?  Well, I sure as hell don’t know. 

America, the day after Thanksgiving is for nursing hangovers, working on creating new ones, and avoiding your in-laws.  Don’t you know that?  It’s about leftovers, sleeping in, and 24 hour Godfather marathons.  Not waiting in line while having to pee, getting breathed on by the skeezy rat-tailed guy behind you, and throwing punches over Jeff Dunham box sets.

Thanks to people like the ones above, the poor, underpaid employees of these chains have to drag themselves into work before 3am.  Just to deal with a bunch of crazy whackos.  Give them a break.  Let them enjoy their holiday too. 

For the love of God everyone, just stay home and relax today.  There’s still plenty of time to flex your capitalistic muscle before Christmas.  Just wait!  Or else you’ll end up on The Island too.

Now pass me some of that stuffing.

–Cap’n Blackjack

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: